Fruit that will last

Since being in our new place, Mike and I have experienced both the joys and pains of working together to nurture our little yard. We spent weeks digging up rocks, concrete, and other random objects to prepare the ground for working. Then he tilled (both front and back) and scattered grass seed, I planted flowerbeds and mulched, and together we tackled a jungle of overgrown saplings and shrubs along the side-yard. It has been incredibly rewarding work, to see the hours we've put in have produced sweet results. This mentality of doing work and getting results has been mostly how I've  lived my life. However, when the desired outcome does not happen, frustration ensues. The reality is that this is not the best way to approach ministry. In fact, I'd say it's not the way to walk through any avenue in life. Things don't always happen when and how we desire. Even more so, this leaves no room for God to do the work if we only depend on ourselves. As a local missionary, my consistent prayer is that my will and my efforts will be aligned with God's will and that I rely on His strength and power. After the first year in Alexandria, I've realized perhaps I did have certain expectations, certain marks I felt I should reach. Throughout the year, I've gone to the Lord asking if I'm doing things right or if I'm missing something. When something didn't happen or pan out, I felt like a failure. For someone who has struggled with self-doubt (or who struggles, I should say), I at times wondered if God really believes I'm the best person for this role. Thankfully I've found comfort knowing that I'm not the only staff person who has wondered this. By encouraging one another I am reminded that my job is to be obedient, to pray and to go, only God can make others show up and respond. Therefore, I am reminded that this is not my ministry, my kids, my area, but this ALL belongs to our Lord Jesus Christ. Oh what sweet relief to know this is true!

In this role, I must throw away what I thought I knew about what it means to hold a "typical job," to have a life where I want to hold the reigns, and fully trust God with EVERY detail. (Please pray for me!) The truth is, I can't imagine doing anything else with my time. God gives so many moments to show me just how important this job is, that He is in even the small moments.

• After meeting at a soccer game, seeing the same girl week after week, building a relationship one minute at a time
• Showing up at kid's rugby game, winning the right to be heard about getting his life back on track
• Meeting weekly to study the bible with a girl you've known for the last 4 years
• Having the amazing opportunity to circle the school in prayer with a sister in Christ who happens to be the principal
• Praying for the basketball coaches before school, showing that this is not a one stop shop, but a life on life mission
• Seeing the smile on faces of girls you know when you show up to their sparsely attended softball game
• Taking a slice of birthday cake and a card to a kid who spent his birthday in ISS
• Getting an invite to a girl's birthday party with family, to then see 3 of her friends there that you already know, praying for the same company to be together at summer camp one day

Through these moments, Christ is with me and I pray that those who I come across would experience Christ through me. THIS IS WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT! Pray I have the boldness to speak and act in accordance to His will. Pray with me that God would blow our minds by the amazing things He does. Help us to not miss the huge things He already is doing in the small moments, one minute at a time.

So it is for this reason I've found a love for gardening. Relationships take time, transformation can take time, God's timing is just the right time. In the process, I can praise Him for the little things and find delight in the beautiful things that grow in my garden and in the community.

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

2 Peter 3:8-9